By | Elina Mubin & Aaron Ikram Mokhtar (Founder of Digital Ehsan)
"You should go and kill yourself because you don't mean anything to
anyone."
When 14-year-old Carney Bonner from the UK read this Facebook message he was so distressed that he began to self-harm. The cyberbullying continued for a year. Carney Bonner got help and now is a cyber mentor. Not all victims are as fortunate when it comes to cyberbullying. Katie Webb, a 12-year-old schoolgirl is believed to have hanged herself after being tormented by online cyberbullies about her hair and clothes. Children are dying from cyberbullying.
It appears bullying has effects beyond self-harm too. Javelin Research has found that children who are bullied are 9 times more likely to become victims of identity fraud as well. This indicates that cyberbullying has a direct impact on future victims of identity fraud.
Cyberbullying Is A Global Issue
More than a third of young people in 30 countries report being victims of online bullying, with one in five having skipped school due to cyberbullying and violence. This is according to a poll by the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) and the UN Special Representative of the Secretary-General on Violence against Children.
The poll was taken by more than 170,000 youth 13 to 24 years old from Albania, Bangladesh, Belize, Bolivia, Brazil, Burkina Faso, Côte d’Ivoire, Ecuador, France, Gambia, Ghana, India, Indonesia, Iraq, Jamaica, Kosovo, Liberia, Malawi, Malaysia, Mali, Moldova, Montenegro, Myanmar, Nigeria, Romania, Sierra Leone, Trinidad & Tobago, Ukraine, Vietnam and Zimbabwe.
Three-quarters of young people said social networks, including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter are the most commonplace for online bullying.
In Malaysia specifically:
- Out of the more than 5,000 respondents to the above UNICEF poll, 457 or 9% admitted they had used digital platforms to harass or bully others.
- The survey also found that 63% of Malaysians who took part in the poll were not aware of the cyberbullying helpline services.
- Three in 10 young Malaysians are victims of online bullying, which affects their education and social life, with the majority experiencing it through private messaging applications.
What Is Cyberbullying?
In Google Trends the search term “cyberbullying” has consistently been high since 2010. Cyberbullying is defined as the use of digital communication tools such as the Internet and mobile phones by an aggressor (the bully) to deliberately upset or harass their target (the person being bullied) intentionally and repeatedly. Boys are more likely to experience physical bullying, while girls are more likely to experience psychological bullying.
Cyberbullies usually come from a perceived higher social status or position of power, such as children who are bigger, stronger, or seemingly popular. Rather than isolated incidents, bullying is a pattern of behavior.
In a recent case, Malaysian model Haneesya Hanee’s cyberbullies got a taste of their own medicine after her mum lodged a police report. The local model has long been the target of mean comments online, most of which take aim at her dark skin.
Following a fresh slew of Twitter posts that compared her skin tone to bubble tea and Hajarul Aswad (the Black Stone rock in Kaaba in the centre of the Grand Mosque in Mecca), the 19-year-old is taking a stand against cyberbullies with the help of her mother.
Two videos posted by Haneesya show her mum holding up a police report concerning offensive tweets made by users @akustikajalanan and @ JefriiMY, who were given two weeks to issue a public apology or risk facing a lawsuit.
5 Main Types Of Cyberbullying
Harassment
Harassment is aggressive pressure or intimidation. A bully sends offensive and malicious messages to an individual or a group and often repeatedly and multiple times. Many cyberbullies go to great lengths to remain anonymous or to use a false identity while harassing the victim. Cyberstalking is one form of harassment that involves continual threatening and rude messages and can lead to physical harassment in the real, offline world. Harassment can range from:
- Using text messaging, instant messaging and e-mail to harass, threaten or embarrass the target.
- Posting rumors, threats or embarrassing information on social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
- Engaging in “warning wars.” Many Internet service providers and social media sites offer ways to report users who say something inappropriate. Children can use these report buttons to get victims in trouble or kicked offline.
- Participating in text wars or text attacks, which occur when bullies gang up on a victim and send thousands of texts. These attacks can cause a lot of emotional distress.
Flaming
Flaming is similar to harassment, but it refers to an online fight exchanged via e-mail, instant messaging or chat rooms. It is a type of public bullying that often directs harsh languages to a specific person. In most cases, angry and rude comments are exchanged. These bullies use capital letters, images and symbols to add emotion to their argument.
Flaming is fueled by the Internet's inherent lack of personal interaction and anonymity, which encourages hostility. It occurs during discussions on sensitive topics, such as religion, politics, philosophy, sexual orientation, secrets shared between friends or anything that relates to subgroups and/or (seemingly) trivial differences.
There are many different theories about why flaming occurs, including mob mentality and a general unawareness of the feelings of other people. Flaming is also known as bashing.
Exclusion
Exclusion is intentionally leaving someone out of a group like on instant messaging, friend sites or other online group activities. The group then subsequently leave malicious comments and harass the one they singled out.
For example, your child might be excluded/uninvited to groups or parties while they see other friends being included, or left out of message threads or conversations that involve mutual friends.
In many cases, teenagers who don't have a mobile phone are excluded from groups of teenagers who do. Girls are more likely to exclude others, while boys tend to threaten with physical violence.
Outing
Outing is when a bully shares personal and private information. This can range from spreading personal photos or documents of public figures to sharing an individual’s personal messages saved in an online private group.
A person is “outed” when their information has been disseminated throughout the Internet. Also known as doxing, the key here is the lack of consent from the victim regarding the information shared for purposes of embarrassing or humiliating them. Another common and cruel technique is to record the victim being bullied “in real life” and publish that video on the Internet.
Sometimes involving blackmail with information gained without permission from the victim, a cyberbully can:
- Threaten to share sensitive content publicly unless the victim complies with a particular demand
- Distribute the content via text, social networks or e-mail, making it impossible for the victim to control who sees the picture
- Publish the pictures on the Internet for anyone to view
Impersonation
Also known as masquerading, this happens when a bully creates a made-up profile or identity online with the sole purpose of cyberbullying someone. This could consist of creating a fake e-mail account, a fake social media profile and selecting a new identity and photos to fool the victim. In these cases, the bully tends to be someone the victim knows quite well, with these activities meant to change the public's perception of the victim in a negative way.
Other attacks that fall into this category are:
- Stealing the victim's password and/or device and pretending to be the victim while chatting with others.
- Changing the victim's profile on social accounts so that it is offensive
- Setting up social accounts in the victim's name
- Pretending to be someone else to lure an unsuspecting person into a fake relationship. This type of activity is often called catfishing.
Effects Of Cyberbullying
Among the many effects of cyberbullying, victims may:
- Feel Overwhelmed: Being targeted by cyberbullies is crushing especially if a lot of kids are participating in the bullying. It can feel at times like the entire world knows what is going on. Sometimes the stress of dealing with cyberbullying can cause kids to feel like the situation is more than they can handle.
- Feel Vulnerable and Powerless: Victims of cyberbullying often find it difficult to feel safe. Typically this is because the bullying can invade their home via computer or cell phone any time of day. They no longer have a place where they can escape. To a victim, it feels like bullying is everywhere. Additionally, because the bullies can remain anonymous, this can escalate feelings of fear. Kids who are targeted have no idea who is inflicting the pain, although some cyberbullies choose people they know.
- Feel Exposed and Humiliated: Because cyberbullying occurs in cyberspace, online bullying feels permanent. Children know that once something is out there, it will always be out there. When cyberbullying occurs, the nasty posts, messages or texts can be shared with multitudes of people. The sheer volume of people that know about the bullying can lead to intense feelings of humiliation.
- Feel Disinterested in School: Cyberbullying victims often have much higher rates of absenteeism at school than non-bullied kids. They skip school to avoid facing the kids bullying them or because they are embarrassed and humiliated by the messages that were shared. Their grades suffer too because they find it difficult to concentrate or study due to the anxiety and stress the bullying causes. And in some cases, children will even drop out of school or lose interest in continuing their education after high school.
- Feel Suicidal: Cyberbullying increases the risk of suicide. Children that are constantly tormented by peers through text messages, instant messaging, social media and other outlets often begin to feel hopeless. They may even begin to feel like the only way to escape the pain is through suicide. As a result, they may fantasize about ending their life to escape their tormentors.
Helping Our Children
We have to be educated about cyberbullying. To prevent cyberbullying, it is very important to understand what it is and how it spreads. In sya Allah, this article is a good start. After you have a good understanding of what it is, talk to your children about it and educate them about what constitutes cyberbullying. Point out that cyberbullying is wrong and harmful.
It is important to be a role model for children. Show your child how to treat other children and adults with kindness and respect by doing the same to the people around you, including speaking up when others are being mistreated. Children look up to their parents as examples of how to behave, including what to post online. Being a part of their online experience is also important. Familiarize yourself with the platforms your child uses, explain to your child how the online and offline worlds are connected, and warn them about the different risks they could face online.
And if your child is already being bullied online?
Listen to your child openly and calmly. Focus on making them feel heard and supported. Make sure they know that it is not their fault. Tell the child that you believe them; that you are glad they told you; that it is not their fault; that you will do your best to find help. Talking to the teacher or school helps a lot because you and your child do not have to face bullying alone. Ask if your school has a bullying policy or code of conduct. This may apply for both in-person bullying and online.
Last but not least, be a support system. For your child, having a supportive parent is essential in dealing with the effects of bullying. Make sure they know they can talk to you at any time and reassure them that things will get better.
Victims of online bullying can contact CyberSecurity Malaysia Cyber999 via e-mail cyber999@cybersecurity.my, SMS 15888 using the format: CYBER999 REPORT or the toll-free line 1-300-88-2999.
